5 things I have learnt in my twenties

I can’t even believe I am writing that I am THIRTY!!! how on earth did that happen? I want to say I feel about 22 still but in actual fact, I don’t and to be honest I am so glad I’m not 22 years old Rachel because she was more work than 30 years old me. I look back at the old people-pleasing me and am elated that I don’t have that noose around my neck anymore. I am so grateful for all the character building and the challenges of my 20’s as painful and as hard as it seemed at the time. Bellow are just 5 things. I have learned in my late teens and in my twenties. I had been thinking about these point as my birthday was approaching so thought I would put them into a blog.

1: People’s opinion of me does not determine my worth:

I used to care so much about people having a great opinion of me and if I found out they did not then it ruined me. Now I feel free and probably dangerously so don’t give a stuff what people think! The moment I realized that other peoples thoughts about me made no difference to my actual life was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong I do have my moments but nowhere near the level, I did before. Those who know me well will only ask me a question if they want the honest answer because that’s exactly what they will get. I think if we can be kind in our honesty and uplift and not tare down we are on to something and our friends will benefit. Being a people pleaser does not only harm you but it affects your friends. Having people love you because you bend the truth or hold back on actual solid but unpopular advice just makes you a dangerous friend. I love nothing more than an honest person that tells me to get a grip but in the past, that would have made me curdle with shame and anxiety.

2. Choose close solid friends over the masses:

This was a big learning curve for me early on in my 20s being such a people person. I would spread myself so thin and when push came to shove I had lots of shallow friendships but not enough solid ones. Choose to invest in people that will tell you-you’re being an idiot and who will hold your hand up for you when you have no strength to do it yourself. I moved away over a month ago to a new place and guess what my solid friends remain my close friends even with the distance. I am at the stage now that I need to forge new friendships and I am excited to do this because I know it only takes those special few to make my life rich and full.

3. Don’t base your happiness on your circumstances.:

The number of times I sat and thought things like ‘ when I get this I will feel happy’ or wishing days away to get to a point in life I believed would make it easier or more exciting. I know to try to make sure that I enjoy the wee in-between moments in life because I have noticed they hold these little nuggets of gold that I once looked passed whilst hurrying life along. I found some of my darkest days to be the most insightful. If we can learn to be happy where we are at then when storms come we won’t be easily blown away.

4: Save even when you want to spend:

Oh my gosh so boring I know but its something I am so thankful for that my Husband did for us as a family. He helped us budget and live in a way that allowed us to save even when it was just a little amount at a time. At first, it felt like a strain but then when I learned to spend smart it became a way of life. It did mean sometimes missing out on nice dinners or not buying lots of nice things but in hindsight, it was more than worth it. We moved into a great house a few months back that gives us enough room for my 3 kids to grow up in and hopefully host some lovely people. Try getting out of debt so you can save because your future family will be thankful for that and you will feel much freer and in turn it allows you to do the best thing you can do ‘GIVE!!

5: Don’t try and grow up too fast:

I look back and am almost embarrassed at Rachel in her teens and early 20’s. I always wanted to be older for some daft reason. I think of the time spend trying to be ‘ older’ when really I wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed the stage of life I was in. Now having the responsibility of 3 kids it emphasizes it even more. Now I hope that I won’t take life too seriously and by the time I get to 40 I will be able to laugh about all the silly things I did in my 30’s.

Turning 30 for me is so exciting and weirdly freeing. I feel the most confident I ever have and am ready to kick this decades butt!!! If you have read my blogs in the past you will know I am a Christian and for me, my faith gets through life and I know I am fully relying on this to get me through the next stage. I know lots of people reading this blog do not have faith but I hope there are some practical things here for you to take from but for me, I totally need God to get me through this crazy life!!!! 😉

Hi, Im Rachel Fraser. I'm Mum and Wife, I love hazelnut lattes! I love to blog in a real and honest way and a lot of the time its about my own life. Writing for me really helps to offload a lot of my thoughts and gives me an medium to share my thinking and feelings on life. Join me in my journey of writing and let me know what you think :)

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