How to stop screwing yourself over

I recently watched a Ted Talk by a woman named Mel Robbins. It massively challenged me and I want to share a little about how it really got me thinking about my daily life. 

Her message was a massive kick up the butt to get out of life’s ruts, and one that I needed to hear. I was feeling fairly negative about some of the daily habits that I’d developed over time that I felt were not healthy for me personally. 

Most mornings I would sit and eat my breakfast in peace away from my family and mindlessly scroll through social media. Not a massive deal but it bugged me and was a small enough change to get me started in changing bits of my life before tackling bigger parts.

One thing that stood out to me was that when we are children our parents would tell us when we needed to turn off the tv or nag us to do homework and at the time it was very annoying. Now as adults we don’t have someone on our backs helping us make right choices. Yes, you may go to work and have a boss but I’m talking about our personal life and goals we have. 

I often wait until I feel inspired or feel like doing something and I’m realising the hard way that Rachel never really feels like it. I think we can all relate to this and it’s something I’m trying to remind myself on the tired nights when all I want to do is snuggle up and watch tv. I have lots of small and big dreams that require small but important daily actions that are not always fun or glamorous but very much needed. I often think we need to realise that sometimes we just need to go force ourself to do things. Sometimes we need to do things we don’t want to do so we can be what we want.

Most people dislike change. I am definitely one of those people especially if it messes up my daily routine. However these last few months I’ve felt challenged to start disrupting myself and my routines. I didn’t realise how persistent and resilient you have to be to break a routine or a habit that’s become so deeply ingrained in your life. 

I am still not there yet by any means but I challenge you to start changing things in your routine that get you closer to where you want to be. Don’t wait until your ready, or feel really good about it. Do those things now, despite everything around you. It may be a simple step like your morning routine, changing how you eat breakfast or starting the morning with your family as your focus, or be it setting that alarm 30 minutes early, to take time in the morning to work on yourself. 

We all have ambitions and things we want to achieve, but I’ve found it can be incredibly daunting and difficult to know where to start? Mel Robbins suggests a simple way to begin that’s not overwhelming. 

Once a day try spending 10 minutes on an area of focus, or area of life you want to learn more about or make progress in that’s specific towards what you’re aiming for. This takes the pressure off that massive dream or goal and makes it more manageable. Mel shares a great example to bring this to life.

Imagine your ambition was to own your own restaurant one day. That could sound like a massive undertaking. However instead of thinking about a potential location, how to manage a restaurant, finances, or just about any other massively stressful thing to figure out. 

Try to start by just spending 10min each day doing a little research, and slowly but surely spending time learning about restaurants. Research how to run a restaurant read about peoples own experiences starting restaurants, watch videos, connect with people you could meet, take notes about menus idea you like. This technique of breaking up your time into micro efforts, and choosing to not focus on the big difficult sounding goal takes that massive strain off you. It allows you to build up momentum. 

This is such a great lesson for me because I am someone who tends to jump headfirst into big ideas and I try to tackle it all at once – then I get demotivated when nothing happens and I don’t see progress. 

I feel challenged to shake off the cobwebs of life and start changing and doing things that may even feel far fetched. I am a stay at home mum and sometimes that can be so difficult because of its rarely about me. This means I actually must choose to make take time to invest in me in more creative ways. I hope this can motivate you to start to take control of your life rather than letting it slowly go by without you even noticing that you never really did not do much of what you wanted or thought you would do.

Hi, Im Rachel Fraser. I'm Mum and Wife, I love hazelnut lattes! I love to blog in a real and honest way and a lot of the time its about my own life. Writing for me really helps to offload a lot of my thoughts and gives me an medium to share my thinking and feelings on life. Join me in my journey of writing and let me know what you think :)

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