Fear Is something we all deal with and I have had to really kick in the face over the years. Growing up, I was such a scared child. I think I was scared of everything and everyone. I shared a bed with my sisters most nights because I was so scared that something bad would happen to me. As I started to get older I realised that I could not live like this and decided that things needed to change.
I was, and still am, involved in my local church. Using the little faith that I had, I chose to deal with this issue and be free from my fear. It was amazing; within weeks of making that choice I was a much more confident bubbly child who maybe became overly confident in life. Going into my teenage years, I was such a people person and up for public speaking and other things I would never have dreamed of doing in a million years as a child. Even now as an adult I am that annoying person who speaks to everyone she meets and embarrasses the family by becoming best friends with the old woman in the lift.
However, after the birth of my daughter Scarlett, a different niggling fear came into play. Instead of being scared of big bad things happening, I was scared that I was going to get ill and die (yes that dramatic). Any small aliment was Cancer or something that was going to take me away from my little girl. I would go through life happy then suddenly that horrid thought would come into my mind that stole my joy and I would try so hard to logic it all out. This continued when I had my second daughter Belle and, like when I was a child, I’d had enough! I knew I had to lean on my faith to get over this, but also that I needed to put some practical things into place to deal with it. I hope that some of these can help you in whatever fear grips you.
Whats the Root?
I stopped and looked at the root of my fear. Why was I scared of an illness taking me away from my children? If you don’t know the root of the fear you are not going to be able to chop its head off. My fear was not death because I have a strong faith in God, so I am ok with that. My fear is that my girls will be lost without me and causing them that much grief is just too much. I feared missing out on their wedding days and seeing them grow up into strong woman. These are all normal feelings, right? Well, not if they are going to cause me to not even live in the life that I am so scared of losing. Then it clicked in me…Wow the very fear I have is really happening now because I am not living life to its fullness with them. I am living in a fear that may rob me from enjoying all of life’s gifts. So yeah, the threat is still real I may not live to see all I want in my children, but I am here now and I intend to live like I am here. What is the root of your fear? really take a moment to look it in the face and think, why do I feel this way? How can I chop its head off?
Deal with the Fear straight away
Our mind is such a battlefield sometimes and what we allow to dwell there can make a huge impact on our mental wellbeing. I realised that I was giving fear such a lovely warm home in my mind. The thought would come in and I would play it out then replay it until it consumed me. Now a thought comes in I kick it out because I know what I am like. My key is thankfulness. I realised this was much more powerful than fear. The thought comes in and I ignore it and start saying all the things I am thankful for in my life. Even if I am having a bad day, I am having that bad day in a car that I am driving and a house that keeps me warm so there is always something to kick out fear with. Once you get into this habit your mind honestly become more free. I also pray, which I think has such an impact over me and without it I think I would be lost. Try this out and see what happens and I assure you, you will see some change if not a complete change.
Have a good support network
When you meet with your friends be real and answer the ‘how are you’ question honestly. This will not only strengthen your friendship, but help deal with the fear in your life. Sometimes saying something out loud helps. It’s like holding it in all the time can have such a hold on you, but saying it out loud is like yes, I am choosing to deal with this and I am not alone. Make sure your friend is someone who is positive and will speak truth into your life and not compound your fear.
I really hope this post might help others take a look at what fears are gripping them and begin to overcome them. Something that really helps me keep perspective and keep my confidence is a good old bit of wisdom from Proverbs:
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. – Proverbs 31:25