“Wave goodbye to your life” I must of heard this so many times when I was pregnant with my first child. First people would say congratulations then without even knowing, it they would say things like “Get all the sleep you can now, because you won’t get any soon” or “Goodbye social life”. I see lots of stereotyping online “jokes” portraying mum as one big yucky mess with nothing more in her life than baby puke and dirty nappies. I get that being a parent is hard but so is anything that gives such fantastic rewards.
I had just turned 22 when I gave birth to my first born son who sadly died in my womb. I never knew a heart could break so bad until then. He did however bring me such hope and trust in God. I tasted what motherhood could be like and I knew I had to go on to have more children. When people said life would be over I could not help but be thinking “Wow you have no clue what it feels like to think life is over”
When Scarlett was born she brought such healing and joy, I felt as though my hope was rewarded. Did she cause my social life to disappear and was my life just full of no sleep and baby puke? Not at all, but just like a “dream job”, there will be some bits you wish you could skip but you know it needs to happen in order to do the job you love. I decided early on that I wanted to create routine with my children with the aim to have them in bed for a reasonable hour to allow me and my husband to have time for our relationship and to do things out with being parents. It was hard work sticking at it day in day out but the rewards outweigh all of it. My husband and I try to get out for date nights because I believe a healthy couple makes for a healthy family. If we can’t get a sitter we have people up to our house to hang out so we have an outlet.
Then baby number two came along and the comments got worse “We will never see you guys again” or “Wow, two children under two years old, that’s going to be crazy” I shook the comments off and remembered how wrong they all were about Scarlett.
So beautiful Belle came into this world in a very dramatic and traumatising way which really could have defined the months to come. I however believe in the power of words and started to speak good things over her life “What a good sleeper you are” and “What a world changer you will be”
I am aware of the uphill struggle being a parent can, and I write from only my experience of being a mother. Its easy to judge other peoples parenting styles, some may call my parenting skills as too strict or that I cut too much corners but for me this works. Yes sometimes my kids go to bed in there clothes they had on that day or I don’t give them a bath every night but they are loved and they don’t have a stressed mum. Our routines means that we can balance our families needs with our individual needs. After all its about living not just surviving.
I am loving having two children and the good days definitely outweigh the hard ones. As parents, I believe we hold such an amazing responsibility to shape future generations. I for one am going to take my children on the wild journey that is life. I don’t need to pick one or the other.